The Four Agreements

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Has anyone ever heard of the Four Agreements?

The Four Agreements isn’t just a wonderful book, it’s also a way of life.  I think everyone can try to apply the concepts to their life.

4abookIn a nutshell there are four rules that we should try to live by.  Humans have a tendency to make everything about themselves.  Each of us thinks that we are the center of the universe and everything is about us.  Sorry to break it to you folks, but the world will keep on spinning no matter what happens to you, me or anyone else.

So here they are:

“1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don’t Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don’t Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.”

For me I think number 2 is the toughest.  When I run into rude or mean people sometimes I make the mistake of thinking that it’s about me, or something that I may have done, it’s usually not.  Most likely the rude or mean person has something else going on in their own life and is just projecting their anger onto others.  And who doesn’t like to gossip.

In heavily populated areas as things start to degrade and earning a living gets tougher and tougher people are going to get more aggressive and act out more.  With declining availability of resources we’re all going to get on each others’ nerves more and more.  People are more likely to act out and behave poorly.  Young folks, guys particularly, have this whole thing now where they have to act project a “hard” personna.

We need to develop thick skin.  We need to learn to walk away from conflict and truly turn the other cheek.  We need to control ourselves to prevent the escalation of a simple misunderstanding into a shooting or stabbing.

To keep ourselves from being drawn into unnecessary conflict we have to learn not to take things personally.

Apologize and back away. Swallow your pride and walk away.  You don’t always need to be right.

And if you’ve done all of the above and conflict is inevitable and unavoidable than gut the bastard, bleed him slowly and bury him in a deep grave with lime.  And shed no tears because you did everything that you could do.

Get outside everyday –

p1010051The Four Agreements and this post are all about developing thick skin.  In other words we need to be like ducks and let the rain drops just roll off of our backs.  Get the picture?  Quack.  Notice that Mr. Mallard in the right foreground is eating a french fry.  We never through food out.  Someone somewhere will be happy to have it.  Please don’t throw organic stuff out in plastic bags where it can’t decompose.

mountain2Becoming better at anything is a struggle.  Here my friend is struggling to stay vertical. Most assuredly by struggling he is becoming a better skier.  Whether it’s shooting, gardening, sewing, cooking, canning, reading or doing math you can only get better through practice, sweat and struggle.  Every blister is the reward for hard work.

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6 Responses to “The Four Agreements”

  1. Jaye Says:

    What type of garbage bags do you use for your organic waste? Do you have a compost pile? Thanks for your help! I enjoy your blog, I found it randomly and now read it every day. I try to get outside every day too!

  2. the urban survivalist Says:

    More great wisdom. Thanks man. I strive to live by these ideals and I wish more people would do the same. My biggest problem is that I have little tolerance for the people who just don’t “get it” (I call them stupid people). It’s all well and good until their stupidity has a direct effect on me. I don’t confuse stupidity with ignorance so people that I don’t know usually get a free pass from me with some extreme exceptions.

  3. Abraham Says:

    Jaye-
    I do have a compost pile. I put a plastic bag from the market on the countertop and put all of my degradable scraps in it then dump it everyday or every other day into the pile. A compost pile can just be a pile of crap you dump behind the bushes out front of your hosue or apartment building. If you can’t have a compost pile then check out a worm box. Just Google “worm box.”

    The Urban Survivalist-
    Thanks for the kind comments and the link on your blog. I agree with the tolerance thing. Try as we may it’s in short supply. You should here me driving or in public. The Sheeple can’t even herd correctly.

  4. Mindy Says:

    Thank you for the post re: the 4 agreements. I read this book a number of years ago and really enjoyed it. They are simple, but require a lot of personal discipline to be effective. Very good for keeping our “personal saw” sharp. I enjoy reading your blog. Keep up the inspired work.

  5. Abraham Says:

    Thanks Mindy.

  6. TR Says:

    Thanks, I put this on our books to pick up list. As for “You don’t always need to be right.”, very true my grandfather said something similar. He said “always remember you can be right, or you can be happy” he was talking to me about a woman at the time, but it means the same thing no matter who you are dealing with. I agree it is hard to “let it go” sometimes, people can be so stupid sometimes, but if it does not effect your (or yours) well being directly, let it go, why bother to try and educate them. In most situations, if they want to puff up, you lose nothing walking away other than avoiding the legal hassels that come with knocking that chip off their shoulders.

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